A Bug’s Life…Is Short When It’s Inside My Trailer

Disclaimer: if you don’t believe in killing bugs when they’re in your home, then you won’t like this post. That’s your prerogative. It’s mine to kill as many as I can.

Got ready for bed, turned around and the bug exhibit from the zoo had inhabited my trailer.

They were miniscule, but they were still bugs. (How did they get past the bouncer?) I don’t know many species there were…perhaps ALL of them?

They were concentrated around the lights over the bed, which made killing them easier, but less fun for the reality of when their corpses fell. Oh yes, I channeled Bruce Willis and took on the enemy. With a vengeance.

What Awful Rhythm You Have

Like a drummer playing to her own beat, I hit the wall and ceiling for each and every bug. Sometimes I had to search = pause. Sometimes it was in succession = staccato. Regardless, it couldn’t have sounded good: erratic slams and tiny bug screams.

The Guest List

A spider was hanging from the ceiling. I am absolutely serious.

Black, hard-bodied #$%^% that look like a pumpernickel seed and that required me to bisect them with my nail in order to die. Good times.

Seemingly freshly hatched moths, according to my years of entomology study, who have superb reflexes, little buggers.

You Lookin’ at Me?

After an obsessive amount of time ticking them off one by one, I stood back, hands on my hips and said (out loud), “Alright, who’s left?”

Now we came to the matter of how they got in. They were all tiny, so some gap in the screen? No fresh air tonight.

The next challenge: opening the screen door to get to the real door to close both–all without letting in the flock of large bugs vying for entry. Deep breath. I squirted the screen with mosquito spray and hit it with the fly swatter. That stunned them enough to get the doors closed with only one (naive) big bug getting in. As it flew past I screamed like the girl that I am and then promptly killed it.

A Good Night’s Sleep?

Instead of lovely nature sounds and fresh air, I slept with an air conditioner as subtle as a plane engine. At least it drowned out the frantic wing flapping of the bugs trapped between the door and screen door.

Plus there’s the matter of bug blood on the bed and ceiling. Blech. Thankfully not on the sheets. Guess who’s doing laundry in the morning? AND cleaning the ceiling. Have YOU ever cleaned the CEILING…?

Seriously, have you ever cleaned the ceiling? Why?
And/or what’s your favorite bug story?

 

 

5 Responses

06.21.12

Your nickname is Pexter … Cross between Dexter and Paula

06.21.12

I’m having flashbacks to camping with my Cub Scouters one fall and waking up to the specter of dozens of daddy long legs clinging to the outside of the tent–and the possibility of one mosquito in it. Yuck!

06.21.12

Your Comments: I just wanted to let you know that I look forward to reading about your adventures every day and have voted for you every day. Regarding the bug issue – my weapon of choice is Windex. Yep, just spray those little suckers – they die and you can clean at the same time. Honestly, I’ve attacked spiders, the dreaded roach, ants, or anything that walks on 4 or more legs and isn’t an invited guest. Good Luck.

06.21.12

Go get ’em Tiger! LOVED this post — one of your best. I’m voting for you every day.

06.21.12

You go Paula! I’m all for killing bugs. It came to my attention the other day that our nanny is SO animal-friendly that she caught a fly in our house and gingerly carried it outside by its wings to release it! Seriously?!

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